kits

Stars and moons, and the sky, a dark blanket. A lot of people don’t realize the sky is like a blanket, a dark blue, the darkest, darker than the deepest part of the ocean, with a touch like felt. Rough like wool, but the sky is so cool when you touch it’s so smooth . Except, like felt, unlike wool, when you cut into it, it doesn’t fray. 

That’s another thing a lot of people don’t realize, to see stars, and moons, and galaxies you have to cut into. Little tears, slightly bigger holes, and the tiniest pricks into the material in clusters, all respectively. 

That’s what my granmammy told me.

Who does this? Who's behind the blanket? Are they a people, are they one? 

My granny didn’t tell me that. 

She used to tell me a lot of things people didn’t know. The sky’s a blanket, it’s called Ahuilli, the stars are holes. Behind every little dot of white we see in the sky it’s a look into another room, behind every hot weight we think stars and moons and all the little things in the sky are, is another adventure. 

The last time I saw my grandma she was on a bed, really skinny and frail. She could barely talk, but she told me she was going to the next adventure.

Then bells started ringing, adults in fake blond sky blue ran into the room.

I think they all wanted to see her go into the next room. She used to tell me not everybody could go behind the blanket, just her, and who she trusted.

She trusts me, so I can go there, and now I get to go there too. Behind the blanket, and tear little stars into the sky.

I look at my friends. Three sets of little cat ears sticking up attentively. 

The twins, their fur the color of tigers eye, their eyes more amber than honey, speak in unison- My mom says the sky is space. Like we, the kitties move their head away from each other, in thought, like we’re in water! The sky's the water, you can’t really touch it and, and you can’t really breathe in it! Only one twin spoke now, nodding, Yeah, and earth and, they opened their arms wide, motioning to all of the tears in the blanket. And all the planets, and stars are very far away, and only look tiny because of that. Honey eyes in light turned to me, and sounded just like my parents. There is no blanket Citlali.

I rolled my eyes, my fur, only the color of the space next to trees when it’s night- nothing like the sky-, didn’t stand. I was expecting this. That they wouldn’t believe me. Even though that was needed to visit the next adventure, I believed enough for us three, I could believe enough for them and my parents, and the whole world too.

Yes there is, where do you think my grandmammy is at? I looked at them. Do you think she’d just leave us? We have our elementary graduation in a month! She would never miss that. I said confidentiality. I could see they were believing at least that. Even when our parents say one thing we’re not stupid, we know things too, we can make inferences- 1+1 is two, my granma would never leave us forever so she must be where she’s always talking about visiting.

Ehecatl! We heard someone call, Maitl! Get over here, It’s way too cold and dark to be out here- the twins stood up, patting dirt, and small blades of grass from their large coats- near the mountains.

I stood up quickly too, words rushing out from my mouth, faster than the bells rang when my granny left, No no no, we’re leaving now!

Yollotl stood up, finally speaking up. 

Out of everyone, if she’d decided to not believe me I’d be crushed.

She patted her coat, and the large puff of fur spilling from her neck rose all over her head, a crown of white fur. When the sun hit it was like she was a tear too.

If she didn’t believe me I think I’d only believe for myself and my parents.

You want to leave our parents, go up there, she pointed at the sky, because it’s a blanket and your grandma might be there?

The twins were leaning away, their parents heavy steps could be heard, nearing and nearing. Still they hesitated.

I nodded, wildly at them. Looking at Yollotl’s dark eyes, Yes.

A beat of silence.

The wind whirled a leaf by us, the trees giving the slightest dent. All the breath in the world held, would they believe me? Would I have to find my grandma alone? 

Yeah, alright.

I breathed, wet clung to my eyelashes, my face brightened. The twins fully turned to us, grumbling, pushing to the side near the trees. Hiding from parents. 

It’s not funny girls.

It’s going to be very cold any minute kids.

Come on! Citlali, your parents are going to be here any minute.

...Yollotl, really? We expected better from you.

We held paws.

They were always so mean with Yollotl.

When their heavy steps moved past us we whispered.

It’s going to be cold Citlali.

What are we going to eat?

Do you know how long this is-

Silently I pointed across the clearing, keeping an eye for the adults, I didn’t want to make them angry. I just wanted to see my grandma. Over there, I breathed, I packed for us, food, and blankets, and instructions. Sure the adults we’re farther, I stood up. We shouldn’t take long. Just until we can reach her.

My friends shared a look. Nothing passed. Just reassuring they stayed. They didn’t share their doubts, their questions. Just looked to know they weren't alone.

Soon we were trekking. The backpacks weren’t heavy, a blanket each, a long aluminum cup with warm milk, our thick mugs to drink from, and one pack of food. We wouldn’t take long. Instructions in hand I led us to the tear closest to earth. Lit by the moon, lit by the light coming through the largest tear on the blanket, we trekked. Yollotl, and Ehecatl played games.

Pat-a-Cake, slapping hands, and giggles bouncing off the trees, gathered and stolen by the wind.

Unbeknownst to us our parents were just three trees width away from us. But the wind, the bark, the night kept us away. Without a knowledge of the other.

Maitl looked over my shoulder, their twirling skinny tail softly slapping my cheek. Are we close? It’s been so looong. Without a second pause they dropped to the ground and rolled. A mini tantrum. 

Maitl, their twin gasped, you’re going to dirty your coat! In an attempt to stop them Ehecatl tried grasping the feet, Yollotl fell on top of them, a heap of softness and giggles.

I ignored them. I couldn’t believe it. Looking from the map I looked at the edge. My mouth wide, whiskers moving the tiniest by the wind.

It’s here, there. Right in front of us. The tear, and I could see it. The edges where the blanket was torn, not stringy frays but the thickness. The light pooled and swam, and spilled over from the rip, a small star. My grandma used to say the closest thing to the shine of any star were tears. When the light hit, right before they fell. Blinding.

This was better.